Titus is full of encouragement to be self-controlled. Paul mentions that elders need to be self-controlled (Titus 1:8), older men should be taught to be self-controlled (Titus 2:2), older women need to be self-controlled (Titus 2:5), and younger men should be encouraged to be self-controlled, as well (Titus 2:6).

So, basically, the Bible says every age group of people really need to observe this character quality that is sourced in obedience to the Spirit! As seen by the two verses above, we are to grow up from being “the children of God” to being grown up “sons of God” who are “led by the Spirit.”

“The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:” (Romans 8:16 (KJV)

“For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.” (Romans 8:14 (KJV)

And this passage below explains that it’s the grace of God that teaches us to say no to sin. I’m certainly not strong enough to resist without His help!).

“And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; ⁶ And to knowledge temperance [self-control]; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; ⁷ And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. ⁸ For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 1:5-8 (KJV)

There is a growth process listed in these verses to help us live powerfully and purposefully. Becoming a Christian is not the end of the road! After you have faith, strive to add goodness, knowledge, self-control, and so on.

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Tim. 1:7

It’s crazy how often we let fear guide our decisions. With money, food, and all kinds of other pleasures in life, there is this fear that there isn’t enough to go around. But, instead of gathering up as much of those things for ourselves as we possibly can, God calls us to live a different way.

He calls us to be content with what we have, knowing that He is our provider. We don’t need to live in fear or timidity because the Hold Spirit is our source of all the power, love, self-discipline we need.

“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted [experience an evil] above that ye are able; but will with the temptation [experience of evil] also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13 (KJV)

This above is a key verse when it comes to temptations! It is a powerful reminder of a few different things.

• I am not alone. Temptation can be so isolating if we mistakenly believe we are the only one struggling.
• I can do this. God is faithful and knows my limits. He won’t tempt me more than I can bear, which means He knows I have the strength to overcome it.
• There is another way. It makes sense only in the moment to think that the only way to satisfy my crazy strong desire is to give in, but there is always another way to respond to that urge of the flesh.

I’m not saying it’s easy, but this verse reminds me to stop, think, and look to Him as “the way” out of temptation. That “way” is to inwardly turn your heart to the Lord and agreeing with what you know is His will for you… to deny self… ‘thanking Him’ for His powerful presence in you.

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.” (Romans 12:1 (KJV)

There is no denying that developing self-control requires self-sacrifice. Often, we view sacrifice as just giving up something we really want. It’s about deprivation and missing out on a mistaken route to pleasure or satisfaction ... be it excessive eating, sex, asserting anger, retaliation, or other sinful temptations.

Actually, sacrifice is giving up something you want for someone you love more.

This really resonates with me. It’s helps me to learn to offer my body as a living sacrifice in practical ways that honor God in my worship of Him through how I conduct my daily life – love is something we do!

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: ²⁰ For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20 (KJV)

Self-control is a genuine mature Christian’s character trait (it is not asceticism). Self-control affects so many aspects of our lives – whether it is through the words we speak, the way we deal with the temptations, impatience, frustration and anger, etc.

The thing about self-control is that we must realize that the initial temptation is NOT sin, the Sin is in ‘buying into the temptation’ and ‘yielding’ to “Sin in the flesh.”

“Neither yield ye your [body]  members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.” (Romans 6:13 (KJV)

“Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: ¹⁴ But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust [desire], and enticed. ¹⁵ Then when lust [strong desire] hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.” (James 1:13-15 (KJV)

The word “death” means ‘separation,’ being in ‘sin’ in that moment… we’ve chosen to separate ourselves from the Lord within us. He does not leave us – but in that case … we leave Him.

Thus, we must deal with it one moment at a time… for the flesh is ever with us until death or our Rapture from sin-laden flesh bodies to dwell in our glorious spirit-body eternally in heaven.

The more we learn to not respond to our emotions or urges right away, we become more patient and temperate in all things.

“Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. ²⁵ And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate [self-controlled] in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible [crown].” (1 Corinthians 9:24-25 (KJV)

We were all created for a unique purpose. It’s an incredible honor that God would create you and I to do good works to serve Him and others.

But all purposes in our lives require strict training – proper diet, learning to read, running a marathon, earning a PhD, nursing, plumbing, carpentry, computer science, bio-science, and so much more.

Doing great things requires great ‘self-control.’ This is not a matter of being under religious “Law,” for we are not under the Law. It’s a matter of Loving the Lord More Than the Things We Want or that We Want to Do.

“For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.” (Rom. 6:14)

Human freedom in the way of “the Flesh” tells us, “Do whatever makes you happy. You deserve it.” God knows that is not the best way to live and will never bring us true happiness. He gives us healthy boundaries to enjoy the good things in life, and those also not to the point of excess.

Just because you can do it does not mean you should do it… and our knowledge of His word and the the sense of the Holy Spirit within clearly tells us what is not right.

“All things are lawful unto me, but all things are NOT expedient [beneficia]: all things are lawful for me, but I Will Not Be Brought Under The Power Of Any.” (1 Corinthians 6:12 (KJV)

We are equipped by Christ in us to live as we should... by His grace… as we trust Him to live His life through us.

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for My Strength Is Made Perfect In Weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 (KJV)

As humans, we love to be ‘independent.’ Most could not wait to get our driver’s licenses, move out of the house, and earn our way in the world with promotions, certifications, and achievements. Women want to prove they can do it all – balance family, run on schedules, find success.

But men and women desperately try to hide any sign of weakness because that would show others that we are failing. But God is not disappointed in our failings. He knows our frame, and He actually uses our failings to frustrate and humble us sufficiently so as to turn our hearts to Him and His loving grace. The more we thereby learn to love and appreciate Him … the more obedient we will be to His will for us. He uses and works through all our failings for our eternal good and His eternal purpose.

“For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.” (Philippians 2:13 (KJV)
“Being confident of this very thing, that he [God] which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:” (Philippians 1:6 (KJV)

So, nothing in our lives is wasted, He even turns our failings “to the good.” God is not limited by our human standards or capacities in and of ourselves.

If you, like most of us, are confronted with lapses in self-control due to temptation, strong desires, and mistakes, know that God’s grace is still enough to enable you to live free of their seeming power of “Sin in the flesh” (Rom. 8:3).

When we admit and are humbled by our struggles and then seek Him to fill in our hearts with the knowledge of His grace, it’s only then that we can become “complete in Him” as He rules over our soul and by our union with Him ... in spirit.

“But he that is Joined Unto The Lord is one spirit.” (1 Corinthians 6:17 (KJV)