You may have noted that so far I have said nothing about changing the offender. The Lord did not require us to change before we could be forgiven. It’s only His love working us that changes our hearts toward others. If the person is lost, we should pursue prudent means to share the gospel with them.

If the person is saved, we must lovingly apply the means which are consistent with Paul’s instructions concerning a persistently and intentionally erring brother as seen in the verses below.

1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Galatians 6:1
24 And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, 25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; 26And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will. 2 Timothy 2:24-26

Concerning a reported case of incest in the church at Corinth, Paul wrote:

1  It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one (a son) should have his father’s wife (his mother). 2 And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you. 3  For I (Paul) verily, as absent in body, but present in spirit, have judged already, as though I were present, concerning him that hath so done this deed, 4  In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when ye are gathered together, and my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, 5  (you are) To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of ‘the flesh’ (discipline of the Lord) (so) that the spirit may be saved (Gk., sozo, ‘stand whole’) in the day of the Lord Jesus.

6 Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump? 7 Purge out therefore the old leaven, (so) that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ our Passover is sacrificed for us: 8Therefore let us keep the feast, not with old leaven, neither with the leaven of malice and wickedness; but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth. 9 I wrote unto you in an epistle not to (keep) company with fornicators: 10Yet not altogether with the (lost) fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs (would have to) go out of the world.

11 But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother (known to) be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no, not to eat. 12 For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? 13 But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person. 1Cor 5:1-13

1 But I determined this with myself, that I would not come again to you in heaviness. 2 For if I make you sorry, who is he then that maketh me glad, but the same which is made sorry by me? 3 And I wrote this same unto you, lest, when I came, I should have sorrow from them of whom I ought to rejoice; having confidence in you all, that my joy is the joy of you all. 4 For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears; not that ye should be grieved, but that ye might know the love which I (Paul) have more abundantly unto you. 5 But if any have caused grief, he hath not grieved me, but in part: that I may not overcharge you all. 6 Sufficient to such a man is this punishment, which was inflicted of many. 7 So that contrariwise ye ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow. 8 Wherefore I beseech you that ye would confirm your love toward him. 9 For to this end also did I write, that I might know the proof of you, whether ye be obedient in all things. 10   To whom ye forgive anything, I forgive also: for if I forgave anything, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ; 11 Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices. 12  Furthermore, when I came to Troas to preach Christ’s gospel, and a door was opened unto me of the Lord, 13  I had no rest in my spirit, because I found not Titus my brother: but taking my leave of them, I went from thence into Macedonia. 14 Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place. 15 For we are unto God a sweet savour of Christ, in them that are saved, and in them that perish: 16To the one we are the savour of death unto death; and to the other the savour of life unto life. And who is sufficient for these things? 17 For we are not as many, which corrupt the word of God: but as of sincerity, but as of God, in the sight of God speak we in Christ. 2Cor 2:1-17

14  Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: 15  Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Hebrews 12:14-15

We know that “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper, but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy” (Prov. 28:13). This is a truth which transcends dispensations and is true for all time.

If we are allowing our Lord Jesus to love him through us, we will be interested in changing the behavior.

Having said this, we must realize that some people will not change. But we can if we seek to live for Him who died for us and rose again. Forgiveness is not easy, but it is a wonderful occasion for the Spirit of God to change us into His likeness. Remember, God commands us to forgive and His commandments are also His enablements. Our Lord will never ask us to do something that we are unable to do. If God can raise our Lord Jesus Christ from the dead, and impart life to your dead soul, cannot He also give you victory in this area? “Faithful is He that calleth you, who also will do it” (I Thes. 5:24). Amen.

Notes:

1. The term New Testament is itself a misnomer since it could not be in force until the death of the testator (Christ). (cf. Hebrews 9:16, 17)
2. While outside the space limitations of the present article, the issue of confession of sins during today’s “dispensation of the grace of God” has been much discussed, largely because of a misapplication of I John 1:9. Paul does not speak of confession in his epistles, although Luke gives us an inspired account of it in relation to his ministry (Acts 19:18). Many of Paul’s commands cannot be obeyed without self-judgment which would of necessity include a self-confession or acknowledgement of sin (cf. 2 Cor. 7:1; 2 Tim. 2:21; I Cor. 5:2; 11:32).

When a Christian sins, we should agree with God’s Word that it is wrong and forsake the behavior or attitude by putting off the ‘old man’ and putting on the ‘new man’ (cf. Eph. 4:22-24; Col. 3:7-10). So we confess our sins, NOT in order to receive forgiveness, but because we wish to be properly attuned to grace and to thus glorify Him who has forgiven us ALL trespasses.