In the course of life, I’ve learned that there aren’t many things I can control. These include my health, my wealth, and certainly now my relationships. Yet, I have a responsibility for self-control.

The Bible offers us a Bible lesson in proper human conduct among Christians, saying;

³¹ Let all Bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and Evil Speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

³² And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, Forgiving One Another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31-32 (KJV)

The definition of “backbiting” is “talking maliciously about someone who is not present.” To backbite is to “gossip” about someone behind his or her back. Secret slander is the essence of backbiting, and it is strongly condemned in the Bible. As seen below, we are to;

² To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men. Titus 3:2

²⁶ If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain. James 1:26 (KJV)

In truth there are None among us who has not done wrong toward others and at times omitted the consideration and care that we should have extended toward others.

So, certainly, some may be legitimately offended … but the offended person needs to be careful Not to Become Bitter and Speak Evil of Others. The Apostle Paul teaches us there is no place for holding our Grievances against Another person because we ALL of us are offenders.

“ALL HAVE SINNED and come short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)

“…There is none righteous, no, not one: Romans 3:10 (KJV)

Paul’s wise instructions guide us Christians as to how we as still fallen, fallible, humans can and should conduct our lives best … This is for our own benefit as well as the benefit of those with whom we may have grievance.

Paul warns us against Speaking Evil, which the writer of Hebrews wrote “lest any Root of Bitterness Springing Up Trouble You” … troubling the embittered one. ‘Evil Speaking and Bitterness’ affects the one who ‘Evil Speaks,’ and ‘Is BITTER,’ and WILL NOT FORGIVE the Other.

¹⁴ Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: ¹⁵ Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; Lest Any ROOT OF BITTERNESS Springing Up Trouble You, and [you] thereby many be defiled; Hebrews 12:14-15 (KJV)

Such evil speaking can then become a “Root of Bitterness” which as it grows will choke the embittered person’s joy of life’s ‘relationships.’ Such stubborn bitterness also affects ALL their relationships to the negative. This sort of person then likely Evil Speaks while claim grievances against many individuals in his or her circle or family.

On the positive side we also have these instructions from Paul saying … ‘Forgive One Another.’

³² And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, Forgiving One Another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath [already] forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32 (KJV)
¹³ Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. (Colossians 3:13 (KJV)

There’s nothing in Paul’s advice that says we cannot be honest truthful counselors with one another. To the contrary Paul says we should speak in all honesty intending to build one up in the Truth for the good of the hearer.

“²⁹ Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is Good To The Use of Edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:25, 29 (KJV)