Why did the Lord say to Mary, His own mother, "Woman, what have I to do with thee?"

You remember the story, don't you? This is when the Lord turned the water into wine at that wedding in Cana in John 2:1-12. They had run out of wine. Mary, the Lord’s mother, went to Him and said, “They have no wine.”

How did He respond?  "Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come" (John 2:4).

Ouch. Wow. This line stings a little bit, doesn’t it? Jesus is speaking to the woman who gave birth to Him!

Yet, I would argue that what the Lord said was exactly what she needed to hear, and this is exactly what all of us believers needed to hear as well.

Up until this point, He had, of course, recognized His relation to His mother and His earthly family in the flesh. However, now that He has begun His ministry, He is no longer merely Mary's Son. He is also now Mary's Lord and soon to be - her Savior. Thus, she has to accept that her degree of maternal influence upon Him to do things she wants Him to do has come to an end. He is the Messiah, the Son of God, the creator of the universe, and her maternal authority over Him has now come to an end.

I also take away from this dialogue that the Lord isn’t telling her something she didn’t already know. In fact, He seems to be referring to a prior understanding that the two of them already had.

What could that be?

First, I'd suggest that the Lord had probably prepared her emotionally for this reality long before He ever began His ministry. She always knew this day would come.

When the Lord begins His ministry as the Messiah of Israel, Mary is to be equal to all the other believers who will enter the kingdom, but when the time comes that she’ll be judged by the Lord, she will certainly be rewarded for all her good works like everybody else. He is not going to be a respecter of persons with His family during His ministry or in His kingdom, and that includes the woman who gave Him birth.

I think Mary always understood this, because before He was even born, she had accepted the truth that He is the Son of God. Watching Him grow up only reinforced everything she already knew was true.

This expression, “mine hour is not yet come,” is quite interesting. I have to mention J.C. O’Hair. He had an article called Never Man Spake Like This Man. Studying the word hour in the Gospel of John is fascinating. Every time the Lord speaks of His hour in the Gospel of John, He is always talking about the cross - no exceptions. There are many passages to support this. A few examples. In John 5:28, He says, “Marvel not at this: for the HOUR is coming, in the which all that are in the graves shall hear his voice.” In John 8:20, He says, “These words spake Jesus in the treasury, as he taught in the temple and no man laid hands on him; for his HOUR was not yet come.” In John 12:27, after His triumphal entry, the Lord told the disciples, “Now is my soul troubled; and what shall I say? Father, save me from this HOUR: but for this cause came I unto this HOUR.”

His hour was always His appointed time by the Father to suffer and die on the cross.

Why does the Lord call His suffering mine hour when He spent 6 hours on the cross? When He says mine hour He’s talking about the final hour before His suffering begins. When that hour is up, when that appointed time by the Father has arrived, His suffering would begin.

Here's an even tougher question: why would the Lord reference the cross in this moment with Mary at a wedding in Cana?

He said, “Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come.” He’s literally saying, why should I do this for you? My time to die on a cross has not yet come.

What does that mean? What is the connection between the two?

I think He’s referencing that moment on the cross when He looked at Mary. He saw the apostle John next to her, and He said to Mary, "Woman, behold thy son!" (Joh 19:26) Then, He looked at John and said, "Behold thy mother!" (John 19:27). Then we’re told, from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home. So when the Lord referenced mine hour, Mary knew He was talking about a moment in the future in which something tragic is going to happen to Jesus, but in that moment, He is also going to take care of her.

Mary always knew something tragic was going to happen to Jesus. In Luke 2 when they presented Jesus to the temple, the priest Simeon told Mary, “Yea, a sword shall pierce through thy own soul also.” I have no doubt Mary thought of Simeon’s prophecy in Luke 2 throughout the Lord’s trial and crucifixion. Plus, Simeon did not overstate the depths of her pain. She truly felt that degree of pain as if a sword had pierced her own soul.

But here, in this wedding at Cana at the beginning of the Lord’s ministry, based on what the Lord says to Mary, I think both Simeon and the Lord had prepared Mary for this moment He calls "mine hour." He is referring to a prior understanding that the two of them already had. She knew what He meant when He said, "mine hour."

I’m sure the Lord spent a fair amount of time preparing Mary for certain realities about His ministry. A tragedy is coming. He cannot and will not extend special favors until His hour has come. Then and only then, when His suffering begins, He will take care of her.

We now know how He took care of her. He had His beloved disciple John take her into his own home. J.C. O’Hair would say, “When the Savior called Mary ‘woman’, in John 2:4, His ‘HOUR’ had not yet come. When He said, ‘Woman, behold thy son!’, His ‘HOUR’ had come.”

So this exchange between the Lord and Mary – He didn’t say anything she didn’t already know, and she had been fully prepared for this moment.

I loved her reaction. We find in John 2:5, "His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it."

You have to respect Mary saying this to the disciples. She wasn’t simply a believer in Jesus. She watched Him grow up. She knew with every fiber of her being He truly was the Son of God. She is submitting to His authority and encourages the disciples to do the same, because He is the real deal.

And despite what the Lord said, He still does the miracle for Mary.